Your Safety Is What Matters Most
When you’re living with family and domestic violence, your choices may feel limited. Safety, finances, housing, emotional ties, cultural or spiritual beliefs, and care responsibilities — including for children, pets, or older relatives — can all impact your decisions.
If you live in a regional, rural, or remote area, additional challenges may include:
- Limited or no local services
- Lack of privacy and anonymity
- Poor access to technology
- Community attitudes or cultural pressures
- Financial dependence on the perpetrator
We recognise that there is no “one right choice.” Everyone’s situation is unique. Some people stay, some leave, and some may return after leaving — sometimes more than once.
Staying (For Now or Long-Term)
Some people choose to stay in the relationship, either temporarily or for a longer time, often for complex reasons:
- Concern for immediate safety if they leave
- No safe or affordable place to go
- Responsibility for children, elderly parents, or pets
- Belief that the situation might improve
- Ongoing emotional attachment to their partner
- Cultural, spiritual, or community beliefs discouraging separation
- Fear of retaliation, stalking, or legal threats
Support if you’re staying might include:
- Safety planning while remaining in the home
- Counselling or support groups to reduce isolation
- Access to legal advice, including protection orders (e.g. FVROs)
- Technology safety checks to prevent monitoring or tracking
Leaving
Leaving a relationship with an abuser is a brave and often difficult step. It can take multiple attempts — and each attempt is a sign of strength and growing confidence.
While many barriers exist, it’s important to know that many people do leave and go on to rebuild safe, fulfilling lives.
However, separation can increase short-term risk, especially if done without a safety plan. This is often the most dangerous time, which is why safety planning is critical.
You may choose to leave when:
- Safety risks become too great
- You have access to emergency accommodation
- You feel supported by friends, family, or services
- You’ve come to recognise the abuse and prioritise your safety
Support when leaving may include:
- Access to crisis accommodation or refuges
- Case management and tailored safety planning
- Police involvement or legal protections (e.g. FVROs)
- Help with housing, financial support, children’s needs, and immigration
Returning to the relationship
Some people return to the relationship — sometimes more than once. This is common and should never be judged.
Reasons for returning may include:
- Pressure or threats from a partner or family
- Financial insecurity or lack of safe housing
- Belief that the partner has changed or will seek help
- A desire for family unity or routine for the children
- Emotional attachment to the partner
- Spiritual, cultural, or community obligations
Support if you’ve returned may include:
- Ongoing counselling or trauma-specific therapy
- Continued access to safety planning tools
- Culturally safe and non-judgmental support services
- Assistance in setting boundaries or conditions for return
Whatever your situation — whether you’re staying, planning to leave, have left, or returned — you deserve safety, respect, and support. We are here to help you navigate your options in a way that’s right for you.
Safety Planning
What is safety planning?
Safety planning involves taking steps to protect yourself and your children from further harm. It involves thinking ahead and creating a personalised plan that includes strategies to help keep you safe in different situations.
While you can’t control your partner’s abusive behaviour — they are solely responsible for their actions — you can control what you do and take steps to increase your safety and reduce the risk of harm.
Safety planning is unique to each person. It should reflect your circumstances, needs, and the risks you face. We recognise that you are the expert in your own life and that you know what is safest for you and your children.
When might I need a safety plan?
You can use a safety plan to help you stay safer:
- In a crisis, emergency, or high-risk situation
- If you are planning to leave an abusive relationship
- To reduce risk after separation from an abusive partner
- If you are continuing to live with or date an abusive partner
- If you are returning to a relationship after a period of separation
Who can help me with a safety plan?
The best way to create a safety plan is with the support of someone who understands family and domestic violence. This could include:
- A specialist family and domestic violence support worker
- A counsellor or social worker
- A child protection or community services worker
- A trusted health professional
If you don’t have access to a support service, you can also create your own plan using the Safety Planning Tool on this website.
Safe Exit ChecklistCreating a safety plan can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. Support is available to help you take back control and make informed decisions about your safety.
1800 RESPECT (24 hours, 7 days per week): 1800 737 732
Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 007 339
Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 000 599
Crisis Care: 1800 199 008 (after-hours response)
CWSW Directory: https://cwsw.org.au/directory/family-and-domestic-violence-services/
DVassist: 1800 080 083
Safety planning tool:
https://www.wa.gov.au/system/files/2021-10/CRARMF-Practice-Tool-4-Personal-safety-plan.pdf
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Women’s refuges and safe houses are located in towns across regional, rural and remote Western Australia. They offer short-term crisis accommodation for women and children escaping violence.
You can find your nearest service in the Centre for Women’s Safety and Wellbeing’s Support and Services Directory: https://cwsw.org.au/directory/
Even if there isn’t a service in your town, support is still available. You can search for your nearest family and domestic violence service in the Centre for Women’s Safety and Wellbeing’s Support and Services Directory:
https://cwsw.org.au/directory/
If you’re no longer in immediate crisis and need help with recovery and healing, DVassist can support you with:
- Online counselling and webchat
- Brief case management
- Referrals to other services, even outside your local area
DVassist is currently funded to provide recovery and healing counselling services, which support people after they are safe and no longer in immediate crisis.
That said, we operate with a ‘no wrong door’ approach:
If you contact us, you will be listened to, believed, and supported. Your safety will be prioritised, and we’ll help link you to the right crisis services.
No — the abuse is not your fault.
Many victim-survivors are led to believe they’ve caused the abuse, especially after experiencing ongoing coercive and controlling behaviours by the person using violence. But the responsibility for abuse always lies with the person choosing to use it. No matter what you said, did, or didn’t do, you are not to blame.
Believing you are somehow responsible is a very common response to trauma, especially when you’ve been manipulated or made to doubt yourself. You are not alone, and support is available.
Not being believed by people you trust can feel isolating — but it doesn’t change the reality of what you’ve experienced.
Family and domestic violence can be difficult for others to understand, especially when it involves emotional, psychological, or controlling behaviours rather than physical violence. At DVassist, we listen without judgment, and we believe you. You never need to prove your experience to receive support — we’re here to walk alongside you and offer the help you’ve identified is right for you.
We understand that privacy is a big concern in regional, rural and remote areas. DVassist offers confidential, online counselling and support, so you can talk to someone safely without needing to leave your home or visit a local office.
Yes. All DVassist services — including counselling, support groups, retreats, and referrals — are completely free for people living in regional, rural, and remote WA.
When DVassist runs in-person programs or retreats, we work with local agencies to arrange transportation and childcare, where available.
Sometimes, local availability may limit what we can offer – but we’ll do our best to make it easier for you to attend.
DVassist does not provide legal advice directly, but we can connect you with legal support services. These services can assist with:
- Family Violence Restraining Orders (FVROs)
- Custody and parenting issues
- Other family law matters
You can find legal services in your area in the Centre for Women’s Safety and Wellbeing’s Directory: https://cwsw.org.au/directory/
Yes. DVassist works to provide culturally safe and respectful support. We can also connect you with Aboriginal family violence services, if you prefer.