Recovering and healing from family and domestic violence is a deeply personal journey—and there is no “right” way to recover. For many women, recovery begins after they’ve reached safety and when the immediate crisis is over, allowing space to reflect on what rebuilding their lives might look like. This time can bring many quiet moments that stir questions, emotions, and memories that were long pushed aside in the name of survival and safety.
For some women, those quiet moments after safety is achieved can feel unexpectedly intense. Take Sarah, for example. After years of living in fear, she finally had a safe place to call home. But with the abuse behind her, new questions began to surface: Why didn’t I leave sooner? Was it really that bad? How do I trust anyone again? She found herself replaying things her abuser said, remembering the way she was isolated from friends, how her heart would race at the sound of footsteps. With no need to stay hyper-alert, she was now facing the emotional weight of what she’d endured.
But these moments are not setbacks—they are signs of strength. They show that her body and mind are beginning to feel safe enough to start processing what was once too dangerous or overwhelming to face. It’s not weakness—it’s healing in motion.
Small, daily habits can gently support your recovery and healing. These aren’t about doing more—they’re about caring for yourself in ways that feel grounding, empowering, and compassionate.
Below are a few everyday practices that may help you rebuild a sense of safety, strength, and self.
1. Start your day with one kind thought
Before you reach for your phone or start your day, pause. Sit down and offer yourself one kind thought. It might be:
- “I’ve survived so much—today I choose to move forward.”
- “I’m proud of how far I’ve come.”
- “I’m doing my best—and that’s enough.”
These words matter. They remind your brain and body that you are safe now—and worthy of care, compassion, and hope.
2. Ground your body in the present
Trauma can leave us feeling disconnected, numb or stuck in high alert; like our bodies are still bracing for something to go wrong. Grounding techniques help us gently return to the present moment, where safety and calm are possible.
Try:
- Placing your bare feet on the floor and noticing the texture beneath you.
- Naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste (known as the five senses technique).
- Wrap yourself in a soft blanket and take three slow breaths.
These small actions signal to your nervous system: “I’m here. I’m safe now.”
“Breathing slowly, even for 30 seconds, reminded me I was safe. When I panicked, I’d say to myself, ‘This is now, not then.’”
— Tania
3. Journal without judgment
You don’t need to be a writer. Just let your thoughts spill onto the page—no editing, no censoring. This is your space, and there’s no right or wrong way to use it.
Some things you could write about:
- What did you do today that helped you feel safe or grounded? (Did you sit in the sun, listen to the birds, have a yarn with someone you trust?)
- What parts of you are starting to feel more like yourself again?
- What boundaries have you protected or put in place this week? (Maybe you said no to something that didn’t feel right—or made time for yourself.)
- What gives you hope at the moment, even in small ways? (It might be a memory, a dream, a child’s laugh, or a part of Country that feels strong.)
- What does healing look or feel like to you today? (It could be resting, connecting with your culture, or taking a small step forward.)
- What did your body or spirit try to tell you recently?
- What do you want to celebrate about your strength or growth, no matter how small?
Writing helps you hear your own voice again. It’s a way to hold space for your story, your truth, and your healing—on your terms.
4. Go outside—even for five minutes
Nature has a calming effect on the mind and body. A short walk, sitting in the sun, or listening to birds can shift your state and offer perspective. You don’t need to go far. Just being near a window, standing in your backyard, or sitting on the ground can help you feel more connected—to the outside world, and to yourself.
For Aboriginal women, connecting with Country can offer a deeper kind of healing. Feel the earth beneath your feet, breathe with the wind, watch the trees move. Country holds stories, strength, and spirit—it remembers you, even when you feel lost.
Whether you’re walking, resting, or just noticing the sky above you—being with nature can remind you: you are not alone.
5. Create one daily moment that’s just for you
This could be:
- Making a cup of tea and sitting quietly with your thoughts
- Playing a song that lifts your spirit while you cook
- Lighting a candle in the evening
- Picking up that book and reading
It doesn’t have to be fancy—just something that feels like yours. A small act of care, a reminder that you matter.
6. Rest without guilt
Rest is a vital part of the healing process. Taking time to pause and breathe is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you are listening to what your body and spirit need.
You don’t have to earn rest. You are allowed to slow down, even when the world keeps moving.
Rest isn’t being unproductive—it’s being wise with your energy. It’s choosing to care for yourself with the same strength that got you through.
You are healing, and that in itself is powerful!
7. Reach out (even if it’s just a text)
Connection helps us heal. You don’t have to tell your whole story—start where it feels right. Sometimes, just sending a message or hearing a friendly voice can make a big difference.
Let someone know you’re thinking of them, or that you’d like to talk.
And if you’re not ready yet, that’s okay too. Just knowing that support is there can be comforting. You’re not alone.
You are already healing
Every time you choose to care for yourself with compassion, you are healing.
There will be hard days. There will be slow days. But your effort—even the smallest effort—matters. Every time you say, “I deserve to feel safe,” or “I will try again tomorrow,” you are reclaiming a life that belongs to you.
Need Support?
If you’re finding things difficult, you can reach out to our team at DVassist. We provide confidential recovery and healing counselling to women rebuilding their lives after violence—no judgment, just support.
DVassist 1800 080 083
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