The Different Stages

There are many stages that you may go through when experiencing family and domestic violence. Being in the country can be hard as you may be isolated from your family and friends, or it may be difficult to find the space to talk safely to someone. Everyone’s experience of domestic violence will be individual and unique.

The stages of your journey through the experience of domestic violence may range from:

not being aware that you are experiencing domestic violence, because you may be experiencing non-physical types of abuse;
to being assaulted or seriously injured.

Understanding which stage you are at can help determine what kind of support might be helpful at what time. Deciding what to do, and when, can be one of the biggest challenges of all.

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The Different Stages - Domestic Violence

What should I do?

It is possible to move forwards and backwards between each of these stages (or to not experience some of these stages at all). You might be prepared to leave your partner, but then decide not to, or you might return to your partner after you have left. We are here to support you no matter what stage you are at, to help you find a pathway to safety and manage your particular situation.

Depending on what stage you are at and what situation you are experiencing, set out below are some suggested next steps for you to consider taking:

Precontemplation You do not think your relationship is abusive and are not interested in changing your situation²	Learn how to stay safe online and on social media Take our online quiz Learn and understand more about family and domestic violence, the domestic violence cycle and the different types of violence If you are in immediate danger call the Police on 000 or if you are in a crisis call the WA Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111
Contemplation You may recognise your relationship is abusive, and begin to consider options for changing your situation ²	Speak confidentially with an experienced counsellor about what you are experiencing; you can find help locally with our online directory, of local domestic violence support services Learn how to stay safe online and on social media Learn and understand more about family and domestic violence and the different types of violence Read up on creating a safety plan and escape bag checklist Find a domestic violence counsellor to talk to If you are in immediate danger call the Police on 000 or if you are in a crisis call the WA Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111
Preparation You may recognise your relationship as abusive and want change. You may be developing, or have developed a plan, to leave the person using violence²	Speak confidentially with an experienced counsellor about what you are experiencing; you can find help locally with our online directory, of local domestic violence support services Learn how to stay safe online and on social media Create a safety plan and escape bag checklist Set up a network of people to support you during this time including family, friends and professionals Find a domestic violence counsellor to talk to User our online directory to find other local assistance you might need – this may include accommodation, financial and legal advice, assistance with employment or education If you are in immediate danger call the Police on 000 or if you are in a crisis call the WA Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111
Action You are taking actions to end the abusive relationship or leave the person using violence ²	Speak confidentially with an experienced counsellor about what you are experiencing; you can find help locally with our online directory, of local domestic violence support services Learn how to stay safe online and on social media Finalise your safety plan and escape bag checklist Set up a network of people to support you during this time including family, friends and professionals Find a domestic violence counsellor to talk to Use our online directory to find any local assistance you might need – this may include accommodation, financial and legal advice, assistance with employment or education, or everyday necessities Only leave when it is safe for you and your children to do so If you are in immediate danger call the Police on 000 or if you are in a crisis call the WA Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111 Visit our Self-Care and Support page for ideas on self-care and finding support
Action You have left the abusive relationship and are avoiding going back ²	Speak confidentially with an experienced counsellor about what you are experiencing; you can find help locally with our online directory, of local domestic violence support services Visit our Self-Care and Support page for ideas on self-care and finding support. Find a domestic violence counsellor to talk to Use our online directory to find any local assistance you might need – this may include accommodation, financial and legal advice, assistance with employment or education, or everyday necessities
Return You may return to relationship/situation² . If you chose to return, you still have options, and support and help is available to you	Speak confidentially with an experienced counsellor about what you are experiencing; you can find help locally with our online directory, of local domestic violence support services Visit our Self-Care and Support page for ideas on self-care and finding support. Learn how to stay safe online and on social media Put rules in place so your partner understands your boundaries Learn and understand more about family and domestic violence and the different types of violence Set up a network of people to support you during this time including family, friends and professionals Create a safety plan and escape bag checklist Find a domestic violence counsellor to talk to Use our online directory to find any local assistance you might need – this may include accommodation, financial and legal advice, assistance with employment or education, or everyday necessities If you are in immediate danger call the Police on 000 or if you are in a crisis call the WA Crisis Care Helpline on 1800 199 008 or (08) 9223 1111

Sources

http://Prochaska J. O, Diclemente c.C., Norcross, J.C, ‘In search of how people change. Applications to addictive behaviours.’
Burke, J et al., ‘Defining appropriate Stages of Change for Intimate Partner Violence Survivors’, Violence and Victims, vo. 24, no. 1, 2009, pp. 36-51.

The Different Stages

What should I do?

Sources

Planning your safety

How can we help you?